Raking Up Is Hard To Do...

Tonight I filled 7 lawn bags with leaves and other assorted debris from my back yard. I could have filled several more, but it got dark, and I couldn't tell which witch grass was which. We only just sprang forward, after all. Still, few things equal independent manhood like taking a swig of beer between carrying lawn bags full of crap you dredged from the far corners of your tiny backyard. We are having guests over tomorrow night, and I actually want there to be something of a scenic view as we grill out and lounge on the 22' by 7' concrete slab that juts from the rear of our townhouse. Tiki torches and well strung Christmas lights can make any unfortunate plot seem like a garden oasis. I did come here from NYC. People in NYC can make a 4' by 10' balcony seem like a tropic Eden. I've seen it happen. You simply have to allow for the fact that an ambulance and fire truck will alternate screaming through said Eden every 5-7 minutes.

I think the thing I found most interesting about raking up all the leaves is seeing what exactly is growing beneath them. The woman who owned the place before us was a notorious gardener, and there is ground cover everywhere to prove it. Ferns, bushes, a couple of dogwoods, daffodils, a hydrangea and many other things that defy classification (at least in my limited scope) just carpet the back. It's kind of cool, but also kind of intimidating. Early in the year as it is, the bug situation has not gotten out of hand. However, within a month, being outdoors will be more of a survival game than a breath of fresh air. The mosquitoes down here are large, black, and insatiable. Their bite swells larger, lasts longer and itches far more than anything I ever encountered in the North. I have a theory that every mosquito down here only targets the transplants. This is because the soul of a dead confederate soldier inhabits their tiny malformed bodies. It's just a theory. For now.

This has been brought to you under the influence of Harpoon's Leviathan Imperial IPA. Tomorrow night, in anticipation of our hosting, we shall have new libations to conquer...