The View From Underfoot...

Insubordination. You might say I suffer from it. Or with it. Or it. I have a hard time with authority. Daddy issues, I suppose. Regardless of what they stemmed from, they are, and they must be dealt with. Now, I also happen to be a spiritual minded person, one who believes firmly that servant leadership is the only proper kind. When I see it, I do my best to respect it and affirm it. When I do not, I tend to be very outspoken about my disappointment. Needless to say, I am not offered many managerial positions (in fact, I was just passed up for one in the past couple of weeks--another story, one with which I do not have nearly enough details to ramble and rant yet).

The truth is, I constantly have to bite my tongue around authority. It is difficult, but a worthy endeavor. You see, I am old enough to understand that not all is as it appears to be, and like it or not, other minds besides our own exist, and they sometimes contain things, things important and worthy of consideration, that our own do not. It leaves one in a bind. Fortunately, I am passive to a fault, so it rarely becomes an issue.

Dictionary.com defines 'insubordination' firstly as 'not submitting to authority' and 'disobedient'. I admit, there is something to that. Whereas I attempt to submit to authority and do the work that is expected to me, I also have a stubborn side which will always give priority to work which is expected by me. Given that I have a very good work ethic and a strong distaste for confrontation, there is rarely a discrepancy. I admit, though, that there are times when I quite pointedly do not do what is expected of me, and when questioned, have complete confidence that what I did was far more important and the rest is negligible in such a case. Perception. Insubordination. Guilty.

The second definition which the above site offers is 'not lower'. This one intrigues me. Although I never would have said it (or even thought it, really), I suppose I do feel 'not lower' than any one I've ever encountered in authority. As a spiritual minded person, this convicts me a little bit. I obviously have to be 'lower' than my creator. There must be a code of morality that I strive for, but as perfection is always out of reach, I must be lower than it as well. Why, then, should I not submit to earthy authority, making myself lower than, subordinate, obliging? That one I will have to give some thought to. In the meantime, I will probably continue sticking to the man in my passive fashion, taking what I can get and then griping about it to anonymous online audiences.

This has been brought to you under the influence of water. Water: Want to pee? Water.